Making Fun Things

ACME Window Repair

Dear ACME Window Repair,

I am writing in regards to a recent window repair that I’m hoping you can fix. On Wednesday, your repair technician came out to install a new double-pane window to replace our drafty bedroom window. We’ve owned the house for a while now but we’re finally getting around to the important things. Anyway, removal of the old window went fine, and the technician was lowering the new one in place when he froze, stared into our bedroom with wide eyes, and carefully looked around in every direction. He said, “I woke up today in a bed like this one, surrounded by my wife, dog, and child. In a perfectly normal little house, in a nice little neighborhood. Is that what I always wanted? I never talk to my friends from college. I lost all contact with my best friends in high school ages ago. I’m not a famous artist, travel writer, or sought-after solo pianist. I’m not a renegade, or even a starving songwriter. I used to believe I was meant to lead an interesting life. Everyone was so hopeful then, and we never knew it. How meaningless was everything I thought? How meaningless is everything I do now? How meaningless am I? Why do I matter? Do I matter?”

Then he dropped the window and broke off a little plastic thingy. I would like a full refund on the repair please.

Best regards,

Ms. B.